Do you find yourself suppressing? That’s purposefully a bit of a fragmented sentence. The word suppression may come with negative connotations- suppress anger; suppress sadness; suppress desire. On the contrary, you may suppress happiness; the ultimate goal. Why would you suppress happiness? But really, why would you suppress anything?
“I see only what I want to see; My blanket covers me.” –Urban Species, song: Blanket
Are you aware of the moments when your stomach starts churning, when your heart rate picks up, your hands get sweaty? Do you start fidgeting? Do you feel your body tensing?
What’s the meaning here? I seem to pacify these reactions and emotions. I distract them with busying movements or react with uncharacteristic speech in hopes no one will recognize how uncomfortable I feel.
The more I reflect on suppression the more I see opportunity. As I shift the negative connotation and think of the benefit, I recognize the opportunity for growth. My body is reacting because I’m not used to the causal experience. Is feeling uncomfortable the threshold of a breakthrough?
Give it a moment. Give feeling uncomfortable moments. Sit with it. Simmer in it. Suppress your reaction to flee.
What are you finding?